Welcome to the hall of fame for the most side-splitting, tear-jerking, and utterly baffling Chinglish translations ever documented.
The entries below have achieved the rare 5-Star Humor Rating for their incredible ability to turn ordinary signs into accidental comedy gold. Every single one of these linguistic masterpieces is guaranteed to make your day. Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy the ride!
杀鸡取卵 (shā jī qǔ luǎn)
Means: Kill the goose that lays the golden eggs
社死 (shè sǐ)
Means: Cringe moment / Public humiliation / Reputation suicide
叶公好龙 (Yè Gōng hào lóng)
Means: Fake enthusiasm / All talk no action / Claiming to love something you actually fear
掩耳盗铃 (yǎn ěr dào líng)
Means: Self-deception / Burying your head in the sand / Whistling past the graveyard
班门弄斧 (Bān mén nòng fǔ)
Means: Teach fish to swim / Show off in front of an expert / Carry coals to Newcastle
打鸡血 (dǎ jī xuè)
Means: Extreme hype / Artificial enthusiasm / Forced motivation
You can kill me. But you can not fuck me.
你可以杀了我，但你不能搞我 (Nǐ kěyǐ shā le wǒ, dàn nǐ bùnéng gǎo wǒ)
Means: You can kill me, but you can't break my spirit / Do your worst
闻着臭，吃着香 (wén zhe chòu, chī zhe xiāng)
Means: It smells funky but tastes amazing / Stinky yet delicious / An acquired taste with a pungent aroma
Dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse' son can make hole
龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞 (lóng shēng lóng, fèng shēng fèng, lǎo shǔ de ér zi huì dǎ dòng)
Means: Like father, like son / The apple doesn't fall far from the tree / A chip off the old block / Blood will tell
哪凉快上哪呆着 / 哪儿凉快哪儿待着去 (nǎ liángkuài shàng nǎ dāizhe)
Means: Get lost / Beat it / Take a hike / Go cool off somewhere / Leave me alone
朝三暮四 (zhāo sān mù sì)
Means: Blow hot and cold / Flip-flop / Fickle / Change one's mind constantly
一言既出，驷马难追 (yī yán jì chū, sì mǎ nán zhuī)
Means: A promise is a promise / What's done is done / No take-backs / My word is my bond
半信半疑 (bàn xìn bàn yí)
Means: Take it with a grain of salt / Skeptical / On the fence / Dubious
恭喜发财 / 财归我家 (Gōng xǐ fā cái / Cái guī wǒ jiā)
Means: Wishing you prosperity / May wealth flow to you / Show me the money
走过路过，不要错过 (zǒu guò lù guò, bù yào cuò guò)
Means: Don't miss out / Grab it while you can / Once in a lifetime / Act now
怎么是你？怎么老是你？ (zěn me shì nǐ? zěn me lǎo shì nǐ?)
Means: What a coincidence / You again? / Why is it always you?
吹牛皮 (chuī niú pí)
Means: Talk big / Boast / Full of hot air / Blowing smoke
干炸鸭子 (gān zhà yā zi)
Means: Dry-fried duck / Deep-fried duck
You don't bird me, I don't bird you!
你不鸟我，我也不鸟你 (Nǐ bù niǎo wǒ, wǒ yě bù niǎo nǐ)
Means: If you ignore me, I'll ignore you right back / The silent treatment is mutual
你算什么东西 / 癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉 (Nǐ suàn shénme dōngxī / Làihámá xiǎng chī tiān'é ròu)
Means: Who do you think you are? / Way out of your league
葵花宝典 / 辟邪剑谱 (Kuíhuā Bǎodiǎn / Pìxié Jiànpǔ)
Means: The Sunflower Manual / The ultimate martial arts guide requiring self-castration
急急如律令 (jí jí rú lǜ lìng)
Means: Without delay / As fast as lightning / Presto!
You dida-dida me, I huala-huala you
滴水之恩，当涌泉相报 (dī shuǐ zhī ēn, dāng yǒng quán xiāng bào)
Means: Repay a drop of water with a rushing spring / A small favor will be repaid manifold
一不做二不休 (yī bú zuò èr bù xiū)
Means: In for a penny, in for a pound / Might as well go all the way
不作死就不会死 (bù zuō sǐ jiù bú huì sǐ)
Means: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes / You asked for it
你行你上，不行别哔哔 (nǐ xíng nǐ shàng, bù xíng bié bī bi)
Means: Put your money where your mouth is / If you can do it, go ahead; otherwise, shut up
Give you some color to see see
给你点颜色看看 (gěi nǐ diǎn yán sè kàn kan)
Means: Teach you a lesson / Show you what I'm capable of
人山人海 (rén shān rén hǎi)
Means: A sea of people / Huge crowds